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Hey...Last night I met a girl at a bar and took her back to my place (I was too drunk to have sex, but lots of PG-13 stuff went on).
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***QUESTION***
David,
I've been reading your weekly newsletters, and I decided to take the plunge and get your online book.
It's got some great information, and some tips that I haven't thought of. I found myself already doing a lot of things covered, and I guess I'm pretty pleased that I needed much less training than I thought I did.
But I do have this question, and it's not covered in your books, and it continues to stump me. I've added a bit of extraneous information, so you have a good picture of what happens.
A quick note of background, I was raised by my mother, and like many men like that, I can be pretty effeminate. Frankly, most of the time, that isn't a problem as I have found, more often than not, as long as you're confident, girls will just go on; if anything, it confuses the hell out of them, because it's very easy for me to play the friend role in the coffee shop, while also flirting with them. In fact, it's very disarming (and it allows me a greater understanding of girls than most guys have, and has helped me quite a lot.)
Usually (but not always) girls I meet are off the internet, and what happens every single time is this: I meet them and then within three to five hours they're in my bed, or we're in my car making out. Some of this is due to confidence, some because of the cocky/funny thing, some of this is because I am disarming and I make them feel relaxed. I don't have sex with them, I'm a virgin, it's just a personal choice, and I will add that all the girls I've ever been with except for one were *not* virgins, and in two or three occasions, I've had to refuse a hard sex sell.
So after we're done making out, I take them home, everything seems fine.
Then the next day, they don't want anything to do with me. They do want to be friends (most of the time) but they don't really even want to talk to me on the phone or see me in person again. They definitely don't want to date again.
Sometimes I get a reason why (only once or twice has that reason been "we're moving too fast" or its variant "I'm really confused and I don't know what to do.") One time I got the response that I'm "too different" another time, in a situation which happened with a girl who lived out of state, and therefore I really wasn't trying to date, I later found out that I made her "feel dirty." The answers are all different, and yet they (usually) seem to have a universal confusion that binds them.
And for the most part, I'm hard wired for a long term relationship, so this is all depressing to me that I'm essentially having lots of little one night stands. I've theorized that it may be because I'm moving too fast, but is that concept real? Is it because I lead them on so much and then I finally refuse them?
Your book is entirely about seducing them, and I'm successful doing that; but for some reason, we part, they go back and think about things for a bit, and I can't do it a second time because they want very little to do with me. (It happens quickly too...I've woken up to emails saying "I'm sorry to tell you this...but...")
Anyway, your thoughts are appreciated,
J
» MY COMMENTS:
Wow, yea... I really feel your pain.
You've learned how to make women want to make out with you and have sex within a few hours of meeting... BUT YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED IN SEX... and then they don't call you back.
Will someone please give this guy a medal for dumbest question of all time?
I think you might want to go read some "Mars and Venus" books or something. Try buying women things, or maybe paying for lots of dinners or something.
lol... I think you're going to figure it all out.
...